Pineapple Parting

Last night was my last night in my ‘pineapple bed’.  It was a good night of sleep, but surreal, too.  At the beginning of this process, I wrote an entire post about how much I love my bed. 

http://kimheartselcallejon.blogspot.com/2010/11/kona-coffee-pineapple-beds.html 

I started sleeping on that bed while I was still married.  We bought it in 1999 after flooding from Hurricane Floyd ruined our old bed.  I slept on it through my separation and divorce, through my move here, through job changes and processing this new call.  After being away on a trip, that first night of sleep in my bed has always been the way I know I’m truly home.  

Later today, a very nice young man is coming to buy my bedroom suite.  It will be packed up and driven away.  I’m sadder than I thought I’d be.  It’s silly, I know.  After all, it’s just a bed…

I’ve spent my week sorting through my things.  I must admit, it’s been more tiring and time-consuming than I had anticipated.  Friends helped me drop off a whole bunch of stuff to Gift & Thrift (the local Mennonite Central Committee thrift store).  Along with clothes and books (lots and lots of books) were most of my porcelain shoe collection and my chicken knick-knacks collected over my nearly ten years with Perdue. 

As I drove away, one of the workers was peering into one of my boxes.  I wanted to stop and run over and tell him that it was good stuff, stuff I had used and loved and had been a part of my life.  It wasn’t just junk he had to sort through, it was a part of my memories, part of me.  I didn’t do it, of course.  Instead, I drove away.  It’s going to sound cliché and way too cheesy, but it really did feel like I was leaving a little bit of myself.  

And, it’s not just the stuff.  As I said, I’ve spent this week sorting through things.  I’ve also had lots of ‘last meals’ with friends. It’s been fun (the meals, that is!) but underlying them has been a sense of something ending. And, of course, something is!  Even though I don’t see a lot of these sisters in Christ very often, the point is, I could, because we’re in the same city.  Now, that option will be gone.

With each person I’m saying goodbye to, I’m also feeling like I’m leaving a part of me.  One after another is important, but emotionally exhausting.  Instead of one single injury, it feels like dozens of tiny ones.  

Like a paper cut, all of these partings feel like a series of sharp quick wounds.  Not enough to keep me from working, but enough to make me stop for a moment.  There’s an intense stab of pain, a gasp of breath, a little blood, and on I go.  

I realize I’m becoming morbid and starting to feel sorry for myself!  And so, I’m thankful tomorrow I will begin some ‘first’ things.  The first time I see Palmer Lake, Colorado, the first time I meet my fellow MTI-ers, the first time I go for a walk and drink in the beauty God has created there.

Despite all the things I am leaving here left undone (seriously, it’s frightful!) I’m hoping I can turn off, at least for a while, the constant whirl of ‘to-do’s, and really focus ahead.

The Lord willing, my next post will be from Colorado – perhaps even with a picture or two!!  Until then, whether you are in your own season of ‘goodbyes’ or ‘hellos’ or perhaps just a time of ‘holding’ I pray you will sense the presence of the One who is able to keep us – and who continues to do more than any of us could ask or even imagine!  To Him belongs all glory!!