Sunday, May 22, 2011

Pineapple Parting

Last night was my last night in my ‘pineapple bed’.  It was a good night of sleep, but surreal, too.  At the beginning of this process, I wrote an entire post about how much I love my bed. 

I started sleeping on that bed while I was still married.  We bought it in 1999 after flooding from Hurricane Floyd ruined our old bed.  I slept on it through my separation and divorce, through my move here, through job changes and processing this new call.  After being away on a trip, that first night of sleep in my bed has always been the way I know I’m truly home.  

Later today, a very nice young man is coming to buy my bedroom suite.  It will be packed up and driven away.  I’m sadder than I thought I’d be.  It’s silly, I know.  After all, it’s just a bed…

I’ve spent my week sorting through my things.  I must admit, it’s been more tiring and time-consuming than I had anticipated.  Friends helped me drop off a whole bunch of stuff to Gift & Thrift (the local Mennonite Central Committee thrift store).  Along with clothes and books (lots and lots of books) were most of my porcelain shoe collection and my chicken knick-knacks collected over my nearly ten years with Perdue. 

As I drove away, one of the workers was peering into one of my boxes.  I wanted to stop and run over and tell him that it was good stuff, stuff I had used and loved and had been a part of my life.  It wasn’t just junk he had to sort through, it was a part of my memories, part of me.  I didn’t do it, of course.  Instead, I drove away.  It’s going to sound cliché and way too cheesy, but it really did feel like I was leaving a little bit of myself.  

And, it’s not just the stuff.  As I said, I’ve spent this week sorting through things.  I’ve also had lots of ‘last meals’ with friends. It’s been fun (the meals, that is!) but underlying them has been a sense of something ending. And, of course, something is!  Even though I don’t see a lot of these sisters in Christ very often, the point is, I could, because we’re in the same city.  Now, that option will be gone.

With each person I’m saying goodbye to, I’m also feeling like I’m leaving a part of me.  One after another is important, but emotionally exhausting.  Instead of one single injury, it feels like dozens of tiny ones.  

Like a paper cut, all of these partings feel like a series of sharp quick wounds.  Not enough to keep me from working, but enough to make me stop for a moment.  There’s an intense stab of pain, a gasp of breath, a little blood, and on I go.  

I realize I’m becoming morbid and starting to feel sorry for myself!  And so, I’m thankful tomorrow I will begin some ‘first’ things.  The first time I see Palmer Lake, Colorado, the first time I meet my fellow MTI-ers, the first time I go for a walk and drink in the beauty God has created there.

Despite all the things I am leaving here left undone (seriously, it’s frightful!) I’m hoping I can turn off, at least for a while, the constant whirl of ‘to-do’s, and really focus ahead.

The Lord willing, my next post will be from Colorado – perhaps even with a picture or two!!  Until then, whether you are in your own season of ‘goodbyes’ or ‘hellos’ or perhaps just a time of ‘holding’ I pray you will sense the presence of the One who is able to keep us – and who continues to do more than any of us could ask or even imagine!  To Him belongs all glory!!  


  1. Thinking of you and praying for you. Your amazing journey continues on...:-).

  2. Thanks for sharing from the heart! I want to be a part of your new least online. ;-)