Blessed... Further Thoughts

Things are going really well.  I mean, really well.  And… I don’t quite know how to handle it!

I’ve written before about my tendency to be uncomfortable when things are going too smoothly.  I don’t like that about myself, and I continue to struggle to surrender my negative thoughts to God, but I have to admit, it’s a little freaky right now.  Allow me to elaborate!

When people asked me where I was going to live when I got to the D.R., I would tell them the truth – I have no idea.  Will you live with a family?  I don’t know.  Will you have a roommate?  I don’t know.  Will you live close to the SI base?  I don’t know. 

What are you going to do about a car?  I don’t know.  You can’t take your Corolla?  No, it would be too expensive.  But you need a car?  Yes, El Callejon is too far (and not really safe) to walk.  So, what will you drive?  I don’t know. 

I’m sure at times I sounded rather flippant, but it was mostly just to keep myself from needing to sit down and breathe into a paper bag!  It was bad enough to realize that I was ‘homeless’, but to not be able to do anything to address the situation was even worse.  Having no control was decidedly uncomfortable! 

I have several amazing prayer warriors who are lifting me up.  They have been praying since the earliest days of this journey.  In the U.S., Canada, in the D.R., people have blessed me by their tireless intercession.  And two of the things they’ve been lifting up are my housing and vehicle needs. 

my home-to-be in Jarabacoa!

Well… their prayers have been answered!  A lovely little studio apartment kind of ‘fell into the lap’ of one of the SI leadership team.  It is fully furnished (including dishes!), in the upstairs of my landlady, in a good neighborhood, with a locked gate.  The rent is very reasonable - the same as I'd budgeted to share with someone else!  I’ll be able to live alone, but still have to security of someone else in the home.   

my 'new' used Tracker!

As far as the vehicle, they have a 2000 Chevy Tracker that I was able to buy for less than I had budgeted.  It’s a bit hilarious that becoming a missionary has meant getting a newer model vehicle!  (My Corolla was a 1997.) 

All of this is incredible.  With me unable to do a single thing to help myself, God has provided in really big ways.  I should be turning cartwheels, right?  Instead, this is making me uptight again.  Sigh!

So, this morning I was praying, asking God to help me surrender this odd feeling of panic growing in me because of how well everything is going.  The Holy Spirit helped me ponder how wonderful that those who have been praying have had their prayers answered in such powerful ways. 

I suddenly realized that God’s blessings to me have been a real blessing to others.  It was a new way to think about God’s words to Abraham in Genesis 12.  Yes, we are to be a blessing in the things we do for others.  We are to take our blessings and share them generously. 

But… and this is so important for me to remember! – so often our blessings are not the things we do, but the things we are given by God.  I don’t know if I’m explaining this well.  Abraham was a blessing, not because of all HE did, but because of all God did through him.  He wasn’t alive when the biggest blessing of all, Jesus, was given. 

It wasn’t all about what Abraham could do.  And, it’s not all about what I can do.  I keep thinking of the ways I am going to bless others.  The truth is, God doesn’t NEED me to be a blessing.      

I have been blessed with a place to live and a vehicle.  I did absolutely, 100% nothing for this blessing.  I didn’t make phone calls, appointments, inquiries.  I didn’t even ask for help.  The leadership in the D.R. (and lots and lots of others!) prayed on my behalf and God provided.  It’s so awesome!  What an encouragement to all of them to see God working in such tangible, powerful ways!

I am blessed, and it is a blessing to others.  Again, please don’t hear me saying that we are not to go and do and share and work and strive!  But, instead of simply spending my time thinking about all the ways I am going to be a blessing through my life, today I was reminded (again!) that God doesn’t need my help in pouring out His blessings.  Sometimes, my part is simply to receive.

I know that when God answers prayers in the lives of others, particularly when I have been praying for their situation, it encourages and strengthens my faith.   So, I’m sharing how God has blessed me, not because I deserved it (we all know none of us deserve His great gifts!!) but in the hope that it will be an encouragement to you. 

That it will renew in you (and me!) a passion to intercede for others, because God truly does hear and respond!  That we will continue to spur each other on to do and give and share out of the abundant blessings we have been freely given by our Father.  Blessed to be a blessing.  What an amazing God we serve!!