It’s always one random thing that gives me pause. When I was considering moving away from the business world, it was Kona Coffee. With a change in pay, I would no longer be able to afford my $20/lb whole bean Kona. I felt I was being called to work for my church, but I did love that coffee! Am I really saying that I seriously took my morning caffeine fix into consideration? Yep. Somehow it represented all the things I was going to have to give up. Plus, it is amazingly awesome coffee!
Now I’m looking at another change. And yes, there’s another thing giving me pause. This time, it’s my bed. I love my bed. My bed is natural pine, four posters, queen sized, with a lovely firm mattress. It sits up so high I almost climb up into it. And, on top of each post is a carved pineapple. My bed is awesome, especially with crisp 400-count Egyptian cotton sheets. Did I mention I love my bed?
God has been moving in me to a point where I am planning to sell pretty much all of my stuff. I’m not gonna lie. This feels pretty scary. Once it’s gone, there’s no going back. Once it’s gone, even if I move back to the States, I’ll have to start again. Once it’s gone, this part of my life has truly ended.
I know a bed (even an amazing bed – have I mentioned how amazing it is?!) is really just a symbol for my worrying if God will provide for me. Do I believe Him when He says that in seeking Him and His kingdom everything else will be added? Am I confident that He will bring not only beds, but friends and community and language skills and meaningful ministry – and funding?! The bottom line is: Do I trust God?
When I think about my Kona concern, it now seems silly. At the time, it was a struggle. Perhaps one day I’ll look back on today and it will seem silly to have spent so much time thinking about my bed. One day. For now, I will choose to bring to mind all the ways God has provided for me. I will trace the intricate patterns of His working in my life. I will seek His face again. And, maybe I’ll take a little nap!
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