For Couples Who Befriend Singles

(Or, What Single Missionaries Wish Our Married Friends Knew, But Don’t Always Feel Comfortable Saying)

This is something we talked about at MTI.  Even though some of it is specific for the missions environment, I think it is applicable – and valuable! – for other settings, too. 

I’d love it if one of my married readers might have a list of things Singles need to know about being a good friend to Marrieds!  And, singles, if you have others to share, please let me know! 

I love the fact that single people, married people, young people, old people, are all different and each can add depth and beauty to our lives.  Each of us can help others to see a bigger picture of God by sharing how He has met us in our lives.  Let's celebrate together!  And, let's be gracious with each other - and ourselves, too!!

1.        DO treat me like an adult, not as a teenager or as your son or daughter.

2.       DON’T tell me I am incomplete without a spouse.

3.       DO recognize I have responded to God’s leading.

4.       DON’T extend pity in the cloak of friendship.  I have something to give you in this relationship.

5.       DON’T joke about the issue of marriage.  It’s not always easy being single.

6.       DO feel free to show me affection.  It isn’t easy being away from my family.

7.       DO include me in your family as a friend, not just as a babysitter or someone to watch the house.  Let me get to know you.

8.       DO enjoy me, and I will also enjoy you.

9.       DON’T think of me as a threat to your marriage.

10.   DO on occasion invite me out by myself.  I do not need to always be with the same singles.

11.   DON’T expect me to be able to do everything just because I am a missionary.  Nobody is self-sufficient.

12.   DO be sensitive.  Sometimes I need help and I don’t always know how to ask for it.

13.   DON’T assume I have time on my hands just because I don’t have a family.

(Source: Unknown)