Thursday, June 16, 2011

Couches & Choices

Yesterday evening I started moving things out of the way for when a friend comes to buy some of my furniture this morning.  I thought I was fine with it, but as I rolled up the area rug and vacuumed the couch cushions, I started feeling sad. 
It was on that couch eight years ago where I said “Yes” again to Jesus during Alpha.  It was there I recovered from surgery five years ago.  On that couch I prayed with, and for, sisters in Christ.  I had visits from family and dear friends.  I read, watched movies, relaxed.  When everything got to be too much, I could curl up on that couch for a nap.  I thought I was past these feelings, but there I was again. 
I had to stop my work to make a phone call to a young woman considering going on staff with S.I. down in the D.R.  I’d never met her, but a mutual friend put us in touch.  Even though we’d only exchanged a couple of emails, it was like we’d known each other for years.  What a joy to talk about her journey to this point, and share mine. 
As we talked, I started to regain my excitement in what I’m doing, where I’m going.  More than that, it was wonderful to spend time talking about our amazing God!  He is calling people to step out and serve Him all over the world.  To hear this new sister in Christ share how God has been at work in her, molding and breaking her heart for His children in the D.R., was a sacred gift. 
I’ve been so caught up in all that I need to do that I’ve not been allowing myself to think much about the next months and years.  I know I need to stay focused on the here-and-now because there’s so much to do.  But, it felt great to spend an hour remembering the reason I’m doing all of this.
I am choosing to limit some things about my life.  Limiting the amount of stuff I have, my comforts, my feeling of belonging, financial security, ability to communicate.  But, when I think about Jesus… Jesus chose to leave Heaven (Heaven!!) and limited Himself to a place and time.  He did this for His Father’s glory.  He did this because it was the only way to redeem this broken, hurting world.
Jesus didn’t ship a bunch of stuff on ahead of Him.  Instead, He arrived in the most vulnerable state possible.  Naked, tiny, unable to fend for Himself.  Limitless, Eternal God limited in every way.  Oh, what love!  When I stop and reflect His choices, I am stunned into grateful silence.  God is inviting me to be a part of His huge work.  By choosing to follow His call, I get to be a tiny reflection of His great love. 
I got off the phone and went back into the living room.  I still love that couch!  I’m going to miss it (and my kitchen table!) when I’m sitting on the floor for the next week!!  But, it’s worth it.  It’s worth it because God is worth it.  Back when I bought my furniture I could never have imagined the adventure God would be taking me on!  I get to stretch and grow and be challenged.  I get to share Him!
I went to bed praising God for providing just what I needed at just the time I needed it. Through my phone conversation last night, I was once again filled up and heartened.  There’s still much to be done.  But, I am choosing to follow because Jesus chose me first. 
I praise You, Father, for who You are.  Thank you, Jesus, for choosing me.  You are worthy of all my choices, all my life.  Holy Spirit, in Your power may I continue to choose You!

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