I love fun words like Kerfuffle, Plethora, Discombobulate. To be discombobulated is to be perplexed, confused, disconcerted, frustrated, confounded, bewildered. Hmm…
If you’ve read my posts this past week, you’ve noticed how all-over-the-place, emotional and, well, discombobulated they’ve been. I guess that’s not surprising, since I’m writing about my life, and that’s how I’m feeling these days. I’ve mentioned before my obsession with being in control. Well, things around me are about as out of my control as they’ve ever been, and I’m not handling it all that well! (Yes, I am a master of understatement!!)
Yesterday after writing my blog, I headed out to the gym. Working out always helps clear my mind. A person I see in there all the time, but hadn’t met, struck up a conversation with me. “What do you do?” “Well, for the next three weeks I’m a Church Administrator, but after that, I’m going into full-time mission work in the Dominican Republic.” “Why would you do that?” “Because God called me.”
Saying those words out loud helped remind me what all of this is about. God has called me. He is in this with me, frustrating, confusing, discombobulating though it can sometimes seem.
Later I met a friend and her family for lunch. They’ve moved away in recent months, and it was so wonderful to catch up and see her beautiful little ones. We met 2003 when we were in an Alpha small group together. Since then, we’ve both gone through some tough stuff – death of loved ones, struggles, questions.
But we’ve also both experienced more of God as He has invited us to dig deeper, spend more time walking with Him. I remember holding her daughter soon after she was born. To see this vibrant girl running around, playing with her younger brother, talking and laughing was another reminder of the love and power of God.
After that I went to a surprise birthday tea for another dear friend, given by her children. I love spending time with them because the love they have for each other shines through. They’ve all gone through their own tough stuff, but instead of becoming embittered, they seem to have expanded their capacity to love. They embrace others, including me.
They have this knack for making me feel cherished and special. I left there feeling filled up with love – even though I couldn’t eat any of the yummy and gorgeous cake! (I give up sweets & chocolate for Lent.)
The weather here was pretty intense yesterday. Powerful rain storms blew through, and because we live in the Shenandoah Valley, it seems the bad weather gets caught in between the mountains and just kind of bounces around. I had hoped to go for a walk, but seeing another black mass of clouds coming in changed my mind.
I went to the gym instead, and it was a good call. Less than 30 minutes later the sky opened up. Walking out after working up a good sweat climbing the step mill, the rain had tapered off, the strong wind pushing the huge black clouds through.
Looking up at them, I noticed a rainbow. It seemed rather thin and pale against the still-black, roiling and threatening clouds. But, it was there.
“Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.” (Genesis 9:16) These are God’s words to Noah after the flood waters have receded. These words came to mind as I looked up.
My life sometimes feels like those storm clouds. I feel buffeted and drenched. But, God is with me. And out of the storms can come hope in red and orange and yellow and green and blue and indigo and violet.
Of course, God didn’t need to see a rainbow in Harrisonburg, Virginia, to remember He promised to be with me! But, oh, did I need it! Yesterday through the gift of friends, of laughter, of storms and of rainbows, God helped me to remember His everlasting covenant.
I love God so much because He first loved me. He knows me, discombobulated though I am. He loves me and gives me these gifts to help draw me back to Him, to help me see up past my frustration and feelings of bewilderment. He re-combobulates me time and time again. Hallelujah, what a Savior!