Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Heebie-Jeebies

I walked into the Site this morning and noticed a black swarming blob on the floor.  Walking over, I discovered a dead frog covered in tiny ants.  It gave me the heebie-jeebies, but it had to be cleaned up. 

(Fun fact, Microsoft Word allows heebie-jeebies, but the singular, heebie-jeebie, gets the red squiggly line.) 

I lined our little dustpan with Chlorox wipes and then put more on the handheld broom.  It worked pretty well… minus the ants that crawled up onto my arms! 

Deep breath and on to other things.  On Wednesday mornings we don’t have a group scheduled, and Daisy is in another community, so I like to take time to clean up, organize, etc.  Since El Callejon has dirt roads, there’s plenty to sweep! 

I grabbed our broom and went to work.  I closed the front door to sweep behind… and found three more of the swarms.  Yep, three more dead frogs.  Cue more heebie-jeebies, and more Chlorox wipes!  Yuck.

As disgusting as it was, I have to admit to feeling pretty good about the fact that I didn’t freak out.  I didn’t even scream and squeal.  It wasn’t fun, but I handled it, and refused to let it ruin the day. 

Friends, I’m tired of feeling discouraged and frustrated.  I’m tired of being grouchy and negative.  I’m tired of being tired.  I believe it’s important to share my struggles with all of you because I feel Christians need to show the world that following Jesus doesn’t evaporate your problems. 

But… having said that, I know I’ve gotten into a habit of negativity, and that’s not okay. 

Life is never going to lack disgusting dead frogs covered in ants.  It’s part of the brokenness.  But, how am I going to respond? 

Cleaning up the frog carcasses was gross.  So, so gross.  But by facing them, I could go on with my day.  If I had ignored them, they would have sat there, drawing more and more ants until the mess was way bigger, and way harder to get rid of. 

That’s what’s been happening with me lately.  I’m whining and complaining about the swarming frustrations, but I haven’t taken steps to get rid of the source.  And so, the seething mass festers. 

Yes, there is spiritual warfare going on right now, and yes, it is miserable.  But, our enemy has been defeated.  Jesus’ death and resurrection accomplished this. 

It doesn’t mean Satan has given up, of course!  He knows that every day Jesus does not return is one day closer to the day He will.  And so, every day, Satan gets back to picking and poking and whispering and shouting that God doesn’t love us, and we’re better off on our own. 

We are already more than conquerors through Jesus Christ.  While that doesn’t mean everything is peachy-keen at every moment of every day, it does mean that we have an eternal hope that far exceeds whatever bad (and don’t get me wrong, some of it is truly horrific!) stuff is happening.

The world needs that hope.  Not a sugar-coated, fake hope, but the true, deep, unshakeable hope only found in Jesus Christ.  Walking around as if the victory is still up in the air is unacceptable in the shadow of the cross.  Compared to that, my troubles truly do shrink into ‘light and momentary’.

Today I ‘conquered’ (sorry, couldn’t resist!) a bit of my fear of icky stuff.  I pray that in the Holy Spirit’s power, I will also make today the day I begin conquering this ugly negativity I’ve allowed to grow.

I’m thankful that the Holy Spirit got my attention today.  In an incredibly icky way, but hey, He knows how thick-headed I can be!  I’m not saying I’ll never blog another ‘down’ post again.  But, I pray that I can learn, and keep learning, how to rejoice, pray and give thanks in all circumstances, including ones that cause the heebie-jeebies!

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