I woke up this morning, threw back my covers, and discovered a brownish-red beetle crawling under the sheets. I know, I know, I just described a cockroach, not a beetle, but allow me my delusions, por favor!
I guess it’s only fair, as I’ve talked about my Mom’s cockroach story multiple times! Perhaps there’s something poetic about experiencing the same thing she did… Nah, it’s just plain icky!!
It’s funny, though, because it’s not nearly the Big Deal I thought it would be. No, I’m not thrilled about it, and would prefer there be no repeat performance, but I’m okay, and will even be able to eat breakfast. (Here’s hoping my Grape Nuts are bug-free!!)
Last night I was driving home on bumpy, curvy dirt roads without street lights. It had stormed earlier, so there was still the occasional flash of lightning, as well as fog as the cool rain combined with the hot air.
As I scanned the road for motos, flinching as my tires hit truly impressive potholes, it suddenly hit me: Hey, I’m driving home at night on curvy dirt roads without street lights...in the Dominican Republic!!Today makes 10 months since I arrived here in the DR. The first time I drove here at night, I was petrified. I hadn’t driven all summer, and driving in a place where trucks pass going uphill around curves, and motos don’t always use lights, well, it was scary!
And, not only did driving scare me, but bugs scared me, geckos and lizards scared me. Communicating in Spanish, connecting in El Callejon, grocery shopping, making friends… Come to think of it, pretty much everything in my life felt out of control and plain old scary!
In 10 months, I’ve learned a lot about myself and my fears. I’ve learned that the most awful things I could imagine really weren’t all that bad. I’ve also learned that the things I thought would be easy haven’t always been.
I can handle lizards and cockroaches in my bed, but still get annoyed when one of the women rolls her eyes at my poor Spanish. I can drive on dark, bumpy roads, but become frustrated by disruptions to my well-planned schedule. I’ve learned to accept that I’m not always going to find yogurt or broccoli, but can be grace-less when others disappoint me.
I’m thankful that God is so patient with me. I’m thankful for the people He has brought into my life who are seeking Him, and help encourage me to do so as well. I’m thankful that despite my imperfections, my fears, my failings, God is faithful.
I praise God that He has been with me, that He has provided meaningful relationships, meaningful work, a meaningful life. It is truly far more than I could have asked or ever imagined.
What will the next 10 months hold? Dios sabe (God knows). I continue to pray in the confidence that He will meet me, He will lead me, He will continue His transforming work in my life. Now… breakfast!
P.S. My health continues to improve, gracias a Dios. I’ve got a couple more days of antibiotics, but finally feel back to good!