An Unwelcome Guest & Needed Lessons

I woke up at 5:15 yesterday morning to a clattering noise from the Kitchen area.  I turned on the lamp and noticed a shadow on one of the windows… a frog-shaped shadow.  Oh, please be on the outside!  Nope. 

I spent the next 20 minutes trying to get it to hop outside.  It was incredibly frustrating because the frog kept hopping behind things to hide.  I’d move the chair or table, and it would hop away in the wrong direction to find shelter behind some other piece of furniture.  Didn’t it know I was trying to help it?

Of course, having this giant who didn’t speak ‘frog’ snatching away its security just made the little guy more fearful.  It was doing what it did to try and stay safe.  Even though my intentions were good, I made it more frantic and less able to get to the freedom of the outside.

Earlier this week I parked at the SI Base.  I pulled in close to the wall in front of me to try and keep as much parking lot area free.  The vehicle next to mine was around five feet away from the wall.  Hmm, I thought, Not a great parking job, there! 

Later that day Jayson mentioned that we are to park five or six feet away from the walls.  We do this for Carolos, who lives and works here on the Base.  Carlos is an amazing cook, and has been a member of the staff for many years.  He is also blind. 

Looking at all the cars well away from the walls, it might seem no one here knows how to park.  Instead, it is intentional, a way of allowing Carlos to negotiate the base by walking close to the walls.  Without knowing the details, it seems a sloppy way to do things. 

Instead of mimicking the car next to me, I parked in the way I thought was ‘correct’ and my car became a potential hazard for a brother-in-Christ.

I don’t know if the frog would have found its way out if I had just left the doors open.  I do know I gave both of us fits by continue to snatch things away.  I couldn’t communicate with it, and just kept doing what I thought needed to happen for its good.  Neither one of us had a good morning!  

In MTI we learned that others do things that make sense to them.  From the outside looking in, they may seem nonsensical – like parking five feet away from the wall.  Thankfully, Jayson corrected me.  Once he explained it, it made perfect sense.  There will be times, however, when people don’t explain.  Will I have the grace to not immediately assume their way is ‘wrong’? 

Living cross-culturally takes patience and practice.  It means not being that non-frog speaking giant who starts moving everything.  It means not being the driver insisting on parking ‘my way’.  Instead, it means taking time to be a learner.  To learn the language (Spanish, not frog!).  To learn the Why behind what’s done. 

I know I’m bound to make mistakes as I go.  I’m going to cause hazards just by being a ‘stranger in a strange land’.  I pray that as I do, others will extend grace to me – and I pray I will extend grace to them, too!!

I praise God for providing these concrete examples during my first week here.  I pray that I will remember that frog (and I pray he’s the last of his kind to spend time in my home!!) and be careful about how I approach others.  I pray that each day when I pull into the SI Base and park away from the wall, I remember what may seem ‘wrong’ is very likely the better way. 

I pray I will continue to seek to do all things to the glory of God – even if that means doing things differently!

Fusion Cooking & More DR Fun!

Hello!  I’m sitting here enjoying my first Indian-Dominican fusion meal in the D.R.!  I don’t know if it’s because of the fresh, fresh produce and or because I haven’t had Basmati rice in many, many months, but, oh, my, this is delicious! 

Indian-Dominican Fusion
(w/ Guate tablecloth & hot sauce from Puerto Rico) 

Broccoli sautéed with shallot, ginger root, tomato, and cumin; Habichuelas Coloradas (red beans) with shallot, cilantro (two kinds!), tomato, ginger root, cumin seeds, ground cumin and coriander, amchur powder (from dried unripe mangoes) and a bit of peanut butter; Basmati rice with cinnamon stick and cardamom pods, and Ripe, Sweet Mango… 

I’ve always loved the Dominican food I’ve had here, but I have to admit, because I like a little more spice, it’s great fun to finally be in the kitchen!

Okay, now that I’ve gone on for far too long about my dinner, here are a few other things I’m discovering here:

New couch
(throw cushions from wonderful Geraldine!)

-I was able to open a bank account and have a couch delivered to my home without knowing my street address.  I said the area I live in, and that I live with Dona Gloria, and that was good enough!  My couch isn’t something I would have picked in the U.S., but for US$200, it is wonderful to lounge on one again!  It’s been months since I’ve been able to do that, too!

-I was not, however, able to get a cell phone without my passport.  The original, not a copy.  Friends here told me I’ll also have to go through a telephone interview, which is really going to test my Spanish.

-When people tell you Dominicans speak fast, they are lying.  Fast does not convey the speed at which they speak, especially teenage girls. 

-The alarm on my car is insanely sensitive.  It also re-arms, even when I don’t use the clicky thing, and even if the doors are unlocked.  And, I have to push it at least three times to get it to disarm. 

   This morning I gave up and grabbed the car door.  After all, how bad could it be?  Thankfully Dona Gloria had already left for work!  30 seconds of increasingly louder, more obnoxious sounds convinced me that I won’t be doing that again anytime soon.  In fact, after just two days, I’m ready to have it taken out!

-And speaking of driving, amazing Sissy (Brian’s very cool wife) showed me the best ways to get to and from the Base.  So, I’ve not got lost yet!  This is nothing less than a miracle.  I am not exaggerating when I say I have been seriously, significantly lost everywhere I’ve moved.

   Of course, I’m still not ready to tackle heading downtown on my own!  There are one-way streets, but they are not marked.  The only way to tell is if all the parked cars are only going one way or the other.

-Dona Gloria, my landlady, is a spitfire.  She used to live in the capitol (Santo Domingo) and was president of one of the big banks there.  When her husband became ill they moved back home to Jarabacoa.  He died two years ago.  She is now working in insurance.  That’s how we found this lovely apartment. 

   She has a domestica named Maria who is really sweet.  She also has an older man come each day and help out in the yard.  He cannot hear, and seems to not really do much.  I think Dona Gloria has him here to help him earn a living.  It’s fun to have another strong ‘Dona’ in my life!  And, after my summer with Juanita and the other Maria, I’m far more accustomed to helpers. 

Driving in El Callejon.
I'm thankful to have a Chevy Tracker as
my Corolla wouldn't have cleared
the first pothole!!

-This afternoon, Caroline let me follow her to El Callejon.  Unlike when I came back in 2010, this time I didn’t have the flutters in my stomach.  Instead, there was just a sense of peace, even of ‘rightness’.  It’s a strange thing.  On the one hand, it still doesn’t feel real, doesn’t feel like I’m here.  But, on the other, it just seems like it was always going to happen. 

- While I was there, Daisy asked me to share a little about my call to El Callejon.  (She was working with the teenage girls.)  I could say a bit about myself in Spanish, but for the more complex things, I didn’t have the words.  Thankfully, the girls are used to Caroline translating.  She is amazing!  After three months of Language school, I have to admit not being able to say more was a disappointment.   But, poco-a-poco! 

-I recognized some of the faces, and can’t wait until I start to know them individually.  I pray that as the women, teens and girls get to know me better, know me not as someone staying for a couple of weeks, but someone who desires to learn more about Jesus with them for the long-term, they will begin to share their hearts with me.  And… I pray that the rapid-fire Spanish will begin to resolve into words I can understand!!

Okay, this has gone on plenty long enough!  I hope this gives you a little taste of some of what’s going on with me here in Jarabacoa.  I promise I’ll be more concise soon!  Thanks as always, for your interest in this amazing, crazy journey our great God has led me on.  Until next time, Dios te bendiga!

Hola, Jarabacoa!

Walking up the steps to my place you're greeted
by Lisa, the guard dog.  She climbs
up in this chair and surveys the scene!

I’ve just finished a delicious dinner of leftover rice (with turmeric, ajwan & fresh cilantro), zucchini (with cumin) and black beans (with fresh tomatoes, shallots, red pepper, two kinds of cilantro and ground cumin & coriander).  Oh, and fresh pineapple, mango and watermelon. 

Front doorway
Kitchen on right, living room,
bed area, closet, bathroom to left



Yes, I’m here in Jarabacoa!  Yesterday Brian and his wife Sissy helped me get some basics.  I’ve been to the grocery store and both the fruit and vegetables markets.  And, all of my spices are unpacked!!  Opening each container was like meeting old friends.  Filling up my Masala Daba (where I keep my most-used spices) was delightful. 

View from the closet area doorway. 
Kitchen ahead, front door on right
Bed to the right, living space to left.

Barnabas hanging out on my cubricama (bed cover)
from Antigua.  Bought the lamp today to match.
You can see the doorway to the closet and bathroom.

So, last night, I cooked my first meal in a very long time.  I have to admit, I used about 10 matches on the gas stove trying to turn the flame down to simmer my rice!  I also was reacquainted with my spice grinder.  In my excitement I accidentally dumped half-ground spices all over my nice white floor... But, oh my, was it worth it!!

I’ll write more later about some of my first impressions, the awesome people here on the SI staff, and maybe about my less-than-fun trip here.  But, for now… my new place:



I got here on Thursday afternoon and immediately fell in love with my new little home.  I spent several hours that night, and a good part of Friday evening, unpacking and getting things mostly situated.  (Don’t be too impressed – I didn’t have that much to unpack!) 

Kitchen counter... and my Masala Daba and other spices.
Somewhat fewer than before, but all the good ones are here!
Stove is to the right.

I’ve still got some more to do, including finding a couch.  Rocking chairs look quaint, but aren’t the most comfortable for relaxing and reading a book or watching a DVD – or taking a little siesta! 

Much more later!  Hmm… now that I’m here, I guess I need to change the header on this blog, eh?!  Dios es bueno!!

Eating area.  The fridge (and stove, too!) is quite small
which will take some getting used to. 
But, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here!!

P.S.

Hello, again!  Just a quick P.S.  I'm not sure when I'll have Internet in the D.R., so if you don't see anything from me until next week, please don't worry! 

Thanks, as always, for your interest and especially your prayers.  Primero Dios, I'll post again soon from Jarabacoa! 

All for God, and for His glory alone, kjs :O)

Day 88

Back in June, on my final Sunday in Harrisonburg, we sang Revelation Song.  “Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God, Almighty, Who was, and is, and is to come.  With all creation I sing, praise to the Kings of kings, You are my everything, and I will adore You.” 

The song’s lyrics are based on the eternal words from John’s vision of the end - and beginning! - of all things.  Our music director (who is also a good friend) told me he thought it would be a fitting way to send me off.  He knew how much I love that song – and the book of Revelation!

Sunshine & a clear view of Volcan Agua
greeted me this final day in Antigua.

Fast-forward to today, Day 88.  In some ways, it feels like a lifetime ago since I was sitting in the pew of First Pres in Harrisonburg.  Saying goodbye then was no fun at all.  Heading out without really knowing what (or whom!) I would encounter wasn’t much fun, either!  How could I have imagined all the ways God was going to meet me?!

Today is my final day in Antigua.  This morning was my last day at school.  It was hard to say goodbye to Sonia and all the wonderful people who work there, as well as other students.  Tonight I’ll have to say goodbye to Juanita, Maria and Dona Cristi.  That’s going to be even harder because this is family. 

We’ve experienced all the things a family does – times of laughter and fun (Uno with Dona Cristi, Rosa Maria’s Quinceanera), simple times of being together (like chatting with Juanita and Maria about their families), really trying times (when Dona Cristi was so sick)… Despite the language and cultural differences, these women are part of my family, and I am a part of theirs.  So, it’s going to be rough!

With my sweet Dona Cristi this past Sunday. 
Doesn't she look pretty?!

But, in the midst of the sadness, I have a sense of excitement.  Excitement for the D.R., yes, but also for the ways God has been working in me here in Antigua.  And not only in the Spanish I have learned or the amazing experiences I have had.  I am praising Him for the ways He has been at work softening and stretching my heart. 

When I was at MTI I kind of (well, more than ‘kind of’!) rebelled against feeling forced into community.  I’ve shared some of my struggles during those three weeks.  I was much more spiritually exhausted than I had realized, and I wasn’t able to connect well with the other people in training.  That still makes me sad, because there were a bunch of really incredible folks there. 

Part of me wishes I could go back, because now, after three months of living with lots of other people, I feel much more able to ‘do’ community.  Since arriving on June 25, I’ve had 12 housemates.  Actually if I include Dona Cristi’s amazing daughter and two granddaughters it’s 15, if I include Haley’s mom and godmother it’s 17, and if I include Dona Cristi, Juanita and Maria, the grand total is 20! 

If you had told me that at the beginning of the summer, I would have said it was impossible that a gal who lived alone for the past 10 years could cope with that many new people!

Some housemates stayed for a week or two, others for more than a month.  Some will be friends for life, others had me praying hard for patience.  Yeah, at times I really wanted to be able to go to the kitchen and do some cooking, or relax (alone!) on a couch reading or watching a movie, but overall, I’ve loved it.

Like with Spanish, I’m realizing that learning to live in community is probably going to be a lifelong process.  But, like with Spanish, here on Day 88, I feel much more able to enter into the next new culture, the next new community, the next new chapter of my life, in the D.R.

This past Sunday was my final Sunday in Antigua.  Guess what song we sang at church?  Yep, you guessed it, Revelation Song.  Singing out “Santo, Santo” and “Holy, Holy” to our great God was a reminder of Who it is we serve. 

It was a reminder that our Lord God Almighty is the One I am heading to the D.R. to meet.  The One who met me here in Antigua.  The One who will remain here (and everywhere else!) with those we love. Today is a tough day, but it is a good day.  All praise to the One who was, and is, and is to come!

Are You Ready?

“Are you ready to head to the D.R.?”  I’m getting asked that a lot these days.  I’m asking myself that, too.  Am I ready?  Hmm…

Today is my final Saturday in Antigua.  Primero Dios I will be in Jarabacoa at this time next week, unpacking my boxes and setting up my home there. 

This morning I walked to the Mercado to buy my weekly 5-quetzal pina and sandia (pineapple and watermelon).  I love hearing the various vendors; those at their stalls, but also those walking around with hangers-full of pants, stacks of cups, briefcases of jewelry, even live goldfish in plastic bags. 

Everyone shouts out their wares and the price at the same time, as loudly as they can; older men and women, little kids in indigenous clothes.  I try not to think about the yogurt stacked in the sun without refrigeration, or the fish, chicken and other meat sitting out in the heat!

I remember my first trip there.  That Saturday it took me forever to purchase anything because I let everyone in front of me.  I didn’t understand most of what was being said, so I was timid about asking for what I wanted. 

Now I’m used to the jostling and pushing needed to get things bought.  And, I have much less trouble talking in Spanish - and getting the fruit I want! The press of people is still a bit much for me, but the low prices make it worth the trip.  

My first weekend here it took me over an hour to find my school, and then another hour to make my way back home.  Now I don’t even think about where I’m heading, I just go.  The streets are familiar, and a lot of times I run into someone I know from school or S.I.  Alex and the others at the Panaderia know who I am.  I have ‘history’ with Dona Cristi and her family. 

(And, speaking of Dona Cristi, this past week she got the ‘all-clear’ from her doctor!  No more restricted diet, and his blessing on her traveling to the U.S. to visit her family there.  When I think back to those dark days in July, it is a miracle to see her now. 

Her doctor said she is like a new person, and that’s really true.  Her fun sense of humor and interest in others in back in full force.  I feel so blessed that I am still here to see her transformation back to health!) 

Am I ready?  No, not really.  I feel at home here.  I have a home here.  I’m going to miss Dona Cristi, Juanita and Maria so much!  For the most part, I’ve had amazing housemates who’ve become friends.  And, as I’ve shared, my Spanish isn’t where I had hoped it would be.  Dominican Spanish is a lot faster than the Spanish here in Guatemala.  It has its own slang, idioms and accent.  In some ways, I’ll be starting over again once I get to Jarabacoa.

Am I ready?  Yes I am!  I’m ready to start sharing the things I’ve learned, not just take things in.  When I look back at my first Spanish notebook, I really have come a long way!  Fourteen tenses, lots of vocabulary…

I’m ready to see dear friends in Christ like Daisy and Caroline, and get to know the new SI-DR staff.  To see the women, teens and girls of El Callejon.  To get to know Jarabacoa and set up my new place. 

Am I ready?  No, I’m not.  And yes, I sure am!  Maybe that’s the best way to be.  If I felt I was completely ready, I wouldn’t be leaving room for the Holy Spirit to work.  God has been present, working in me, through me, even in spite of me. 

These past months have been a time of stretching, a time of richness and joy.  God has truly done more than I could ever have asked or even imagined.  In His power alone, I will be ready for whatever comes next. 

Dia de Independencia

Today is the 190^th anniversary of Guatemalan Independence.  Last week the blue and white flags started going up around town.  In the Mercado on Saturday vendors were doing a steady business selling them in all sizes. 



The Quetzal, national bird of Guatemala

Yesterday morning there was a parade with younger kids.  In the afternoon, we heard whistles and the sound of running.  Students from the various schools were carrying torches and blow whistles, running out to let everyone know that Guatemala is free.  Dona Cristi told us that they run out to the surrounding areas, some several miles away.  Proclaiming freedom is not for the weak!  I think it’s an awesome tradition. 

Last night there was marimba music in Parque Central, along with the firecrackers and boombas (loud air cannons) necessary for any and every celebration here.  The boombas go off randomly during different occasions, at all hours of the day and night.  I heard the first one of the day this morning at 4am.  Independence Day was here!



One of the (many!) school bands

For weeks now, every Saturday we’ve been hearing bands practicing in the various schools around town.  The education system here is different, of course, but the approximate equivalent is Junior and Senior High. 

these guys were dancing with these big drums -
and kept perfect time!

Marlena (my friend Nivia's younger sister)
and partner dancing in the parade.
You can see proud Nivia in the background!

Today was their big day to shine. The marching bands here love percussion. It almost seemed they were competing to see who could be the loudest. They sounded great, and it was fun to see each school sporting different uniforms, and doing something a little different from the others. Some were in traditional dress, others had flags and batons. There were a lot of ‘Senorita’s of different kinds. I saw Miss Sports, Kindness, Cultural, and more. 



Kids in traditional clothing.

One of the things which never ceases to amaze me is the way the girls here can walk cobblestone streets in super high heels. I’m including some for you to see. (And yes, my love of shoes may have a little to do with how many pictures there are!)

High heels & cobblestones

Don't try this at home!!

I noticed they stayed to the bigger 'cobbles'
but there's still no way I could do it!

Possibly my favorite part of the parade was when several students ran by holding high big streamer-filled quetzals (see picture at the top of this post).  The quetzal lives in the northern jungle area of the country, and seeing one is a rare occurrence.  The quetzal cannot survive in captivity.  It only lives when it is allowed to be free.  The quetzal is the national bird of Guatemala, symbolizing the freedom the people here desire.  Watching these young people running in the streets of Antigua, holding high the quetzal was very moving.

The parade of schools went on for two hours.  Once they got to the Parque Central there were speeches and presentations, followed by more festivities.  Dona Cristi said the whole thing lasts around four or five hours.  Like last night, tonight there will be more concerts and fireworks and boombas.  The sun has been shining for most of the day, minus a thirty minute thunderstorm around 1pm.

Guatemalan youth carrying their national symbol of freedom.

Guatemala is a country which has been independent for nearly 200 years, but it has been an independence filled with war and turmoil.  Perhaps that’s why the celebrations here are so big and loud and involve so much of the city.  

The parents of these students were alive during the recent past years of turmoil.  I imagine they hope for a peace-filled country for their children.  A country where people are permitted to say what they think, even in opposition, and not be fearful for their lives.  A country where basic human rights are honored, and basic needs are met.  A place of freedom. 

Oh Father, bless this nation, bless these people I have grown to love.  May they not just dream about freedom, but find it.  I know that true freedom can only come through knowing You.  Thank you for the churches and missions here, working to show Your Son.  May the Guatemalan people continue to strive to live in freedom, to live in You.

Election News

Hello! Thanks, everyone, for your prayers! Yesterday's election seems to have gone relatively smoothly. This is only the 4th time the nation has voted for a president since the peace accords in 1996, so it is still relatively new for many, many people.

As was predicted, no single candidate gained a majority, so there will be a run-off election on November 6. The one candidate is ex-military, and there have been stories about some of his activities back during the wars. He promises a 'mano dura' (a firm or strong hand). The other is a young (41) businessman who is trying to rally the people, especially young people, to change the country. There have been questions about some of his past, as well.

Antigua dawned sunny and warm yesterday. When I walked over to the Panadaria for my coffee at 7am, there were very few people out-and-about. As we walked to church, the city was very calm and peaceful. Part of that was likely due to the fact that alcohol sales had been suspended for the election, and so no one was stumbling home from the bars!

Dona Cristi voted at 8:30 a.m. and said everything was calm. The weather was predicted to be stormy in the afternoon, but thankfully the rains held off, so everyone who wanted to vote could do so.

Today there was news of problems in some of the country. For example, in a small community not too far from here, people attacked and robbed the vehicle carrying the completed ballots. I'm not sure what their reason was, or what happens now.

I'm praying that we don't hear more stories like this! The candidates are asking that everyone respect that process and the results, and I also praying that the calls that this is heard - by them, too!! As Dona Cristi, Sonia, and many other people of faith here continue to say, God knows, and it is in His hands.

This country, these people, these potential leaders, need our prayers. Paul admonished Timothy (and all of us!) to pray for those in authority over us. That was during the time of Nero!! We need to be praying for leaders of the nations. All of the leaders of all of the nations.

If Timothy was to pray for someone like Nero, we can surely be praying for the candidates here in Guatemala, as well as well as in the rest of the world. God knows. All things are in His hands.

Today I am rejoicing that things yesterday went much more smoothly than some had expected. I am rejoicing that so many here are hungry for change, hungry to be a part of making things better for their country.

And, I am praying that we, as believers, show our faith in the One who holds all things in His hands through our lives and our prayers. Thank you for joining me in this!

Ayudame, Dios!

Hi, everyone!  Today I'd like to share a few prayer requests with you:

Sunday, September 11:  This is an important day.  In the United States (and in many other countries) people will commemorate the 10^th anniversary of the terrorist attacks and lives lost in New York, Washington, D.C. and Pennsylvania. 

That same day, the citizens of Guatemala will be voting for a new president.  There are 27 political parties.  It’s hard for everyone to keep them all straight, or figure out exactly what they do (and don’t) stand for.  It is not likely that any one candidate will gain a simple majority, which means there is likely to be a run-off election in November. 

I am not concerned for my personal safety – truly, I’m not!  I plan to walk to church Sunday morning, and join other believers in worshiping our God, who has all of this in His firm control.  Antigua has been calm all summer, and as a tourist-town, there are always lots of police on the streets.

However, there have been several election-related deaths (as well as plenty of threatening rhetoric) in other parts of the country.  Many people here remember the years of war and instability.  They are worried that there will be more violence during and following the election. 

Dona Cristi has been praying for weeks for Guatemala, and that God would help her determine who to vote for.  “All they do is ‘blah, blah, blah’”, she told me (using the English word!).  “They promise and promise but then do nothing.  But, it is in the hands of God.  He knows.  I am praying 'Dios, ayudame' (God, help me!)” 

Please join in praying for all the Dona Cristi’s here in Guatemala who desire that this be a nation where citizens (and especially children!) can grow and learn and be safe and healthy.

Two more weeks!:  I’m down to seven more days of Language school.  This has been a tiring week, and I’ve still got the Imperfect Subjunctive to tackle.  At times I feel really good about my progress, and at others, I feel like I still cannot understand the simplest conversation.  Please pray that I continue to join in Dona Cristi’s cry, “Dios, ayudame!”

Thursday, September 23:  Primero Dios (the Lord willing) I will be leaving Antigua at 2:00 a.m. to head to Guatemala City’s airport to fly to the D.R.  September is an incredibly rainy month.  You may remember reading about landslides last year.  We’ve already had some super strong storms and areas of flooding, washed out roads, etc.

I have to admit to being a little anxious (okay, a lot anxious) about the prospect of been driven 45 minutes in the dark of night through areas which sometimes get covered by mud and water.  Please pray that I remember I am in God’s hands, and whatever happens, He will be with me.

Thank you, praying friends!  There is really no way for me to express how deeply grateful I am for you.  I have spent a summer completely outside of my comfort zone, being stretched in many (many!) ways.  And yet, through the Holy Spirit’s power, and your intercession, it has been full of blessings. 

I guess I’ll never feel 100% ready for the next step in the journey (otherwise, I wouldn’t need God’s help!) but I am anxious and eager to begin my time in the D.R.

Have a fantastic weekend.  Remember that God is with us, and that sometimes the most powerful prayer we can pray is a simple groan, God help me!  The One who calls us is faithful, and He will see His plans accomplished, in the U.S., in Guatemala, in your life, in mine.  All glory to Him!! 

Thoughts in a Subjunctive Mood

Yesterday we started the Subjunctive.  As I expected, I had a bit of trouble understanding.  Okay, maybe a bit more than ‘a bit’!  Basically, the Subjunctive is not a tense like Past or Present, but a ‘mood’.  It expresses an uncertainty, doubt, desire, suggestion, request, etc. 

For example, I might desire that you go to my party, but you may or may not want to attend.  My part, desiring that you go, is in Present tense (and also Past and Future).  But, since you might not want to, the second part, you going, is in the Subjunctive. 

It’s difficult for English speakers, because we really don’t use it very often.  There isn’t a simple way to show the Subjunctive.  I’m sure the example I just gave is not completely accurate!  So, there weren’t clear examples Sonia could give me, especially since she only speaks a little bit of English.  

Sonia told me that the Subjunctive is used a lot in the Bible, because God desires that we live for Him, but we are given freedom to accept or reject His good, pleasing and perfect will for us.  She suggested that I use my Bible to try and find some examples, as she knows how much I love to read the Word. 

So, last night I sat and thought about passages where God expresses His desire for how we live…

The Holy Spirit led me to Jesus’ prayer in John 17:11-24.  This is part of His beautiful prayer for Himself, for His disciples, and for us. Jesus prays that His followers may be one just as He and His Father are one.  Jesus prays His desire, but the disciples’ part is in the Subjunctive.  There is uncertainty because the disciples may or may not love each other with the love Jesus has for His Father, and His Father for Him. 

This morning, I was reading Romans 10, where Paul quotes Deuteronomy 30.  I decided to check out the chapter to get more of the context.  This is at the end of Moses’ life, where he is admonishing the Israelites as they wait to step into the Promised Land.  It is a strong and challenging passage. 

Again, Moses speaks his desire, but the part of the Israelites is uncertain, and so is expressed in the Subjunctive.  Will they love God, will they follow His commands, will they choose life in Him, or death by following others ‘gods’? 

In verses 17 and 18, Moses describes the consequences of not following God’s commandments.  In verse 18, instead of the Subjunctive, (which introduces an element of doubt), Moses uses the future tense.  The English says, “you will certainly be destroyed.”  Here, the door is shut.  There is no doubt that if the Israelites choose to follow other gods, desolation and destruction will follow.

As I read these passages in Spanish, and compared them in English, I began to understand.  Not only the Subjunctive, but it added a new depth to my understanding of God’s word.  In both passages, our Almighty, Triune God is unchanging, and His desire for His followers, His people, is unchanging. 

God's desire is that we love Him with all of our hearts, and that we show the world that love, in our love one for another.  Those words are stated without question, without a doubt. 

But… in His love, God gives us the opportunity to do, or not do, His will.  Sadly, I choose to reject His will for me far more often than I’d like.  And, we’ve all seen the consequences of our unloving behavior toward each other. 

At the end of all things, the future will be the present and the door will shut.  There is much to do before then!  I praise God for His patience with us.  I praise Him for the privilege and opportunity to share His word – His Word, Jesus, with the world.  May I be faithful.  No, not Subjunctive.  I pray that I WILL be faithful!

The Scariest Tense of All

When I was in college, there was this one class I had to take for my Psychology major called The History of Psychology.  Everyone who had taken it told me, Study as hard as you can, and if you get more than a “C”, be grateful.  I did… and I didn’t. 

I still remember printing all the names of all the Psych history-makers onto little pieces of paper and laying out a giant ‘tree’ on the floor charting it all.  Did it help?  No, not really.  I think I finished with a C-. 

Maybe I just psyched myself out (sorry! :O) ) but I couldn’t seem to grasp what the textbook said – and definitely couldn’t grasp what my Professor was saying!  He talked, using words in English, words I knew, but somehow, I couldn’t connect any of what he said.  It was as if he was speaking another language. 

I’ve been working on verb tenses for more than two months.  We started with Present, have worked our way through two Past Tenses, the Future, Conditional, Perfect, Imperative… Each one helps build on the next one, although I never feel like I’ve spent quite enough time on any of them.

On Friday Sonia gave me an exercise where I had to conjugate 20 verbs in five different tenses.  Today, we spent our time reviewing even more.  All in anticipation of… the Subjunctive. 

Just like my History of Psych class, this is the one that everyone talks about.  They all say Subjunctive in this hushed voice.  And, like that class, I’ve been given advice about the Subjunctive. 

One friend told me that he studied it for a solid month and never did grasp it.  Not all that encouraging, considering I haven’t got a month.  I’m down to 12 days of class!  He did assure me that after a while (a long while!) it started to make sense.  Ummm… thanks, I think!

I’ve been trying to remind myself that what I’m doing here in Antigua is getting an overview.  That like with driving a car, the ‘real’ learning won’t begin until I’m out there on my own in the D.R. 

But, I’ve got to be honest… I’m a little freaked out about tomorrow.  This weekend I read the section on the Subjunctive in my little Spanish grammar book I brought from home.  Didn’t. Understand. A. Thing. 

I’m having flashbacks to those lectures 25 years ago.  Only, this time, it really is another language!  It hardly seems fair that now, when my brain is packed to capacity, I have to learn the scariest tense of all.  (And yes, I do realize how silly it is to be saying that!) 

So, what do I do?  The only thing I can do.  I’ll take a deep breath and begin.  Today I’m going to spend some more time reviewing my notes on the other tenses.  I’m going to get a good night’s sleep.  I’m going to pray that the Holy Spirit would come alongside me.  I’m asking Him to help me ignore the voices that are telling me I can’t get this. 

I’m asking Him to help me remember (once again!) the reason I’m learning all these tenses.  Learning to share Jesus’ love in the heart language of the women, teens, and girls I am going to be serving in His name.  That’s worth all the struggle.  That’s worth… the Subjunctive.

Dios

As I’ve mentioned in the past, my teacher, Sonia, is a Christ-follower, and so she encourages me to read my Spanish Bible and then share with her what I’ve read, and my thoughts about it.  She knows a lot about the Bible, and so being able to talk together about the words of Jesus (and more!) is wonderful.  It’s also good practice for me as I will be helping lead discussions and lessons in El Callejon.

The Spanish Bible I have is the NVI, which is the equivalent of the NIV in English.  I love reading the Bible, and over the course of the summer it’s been fun to be able to read more and more of it without needing to grab my English version to figure out what is being said. 

I’ve been reading a lot of my favorite passages, like the shorter letters of Paul, the Gospel of John, different Psalms, parts of Revelation.  This week I decided to read the Creation Story in Genesis 1.  You are probably all familiar with the first verse of the Bible, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.”  This is a perfectly good sentence, and pulls us into the story immediately. 

In Spanish, however, the sentence structure is different.  “Dios, en el principio, creó los cielos y la tierra.”  The very first word in the Bible is… Dios.  I love that so much! 

Again, there is nothing at all wrong with the English version, but isn’t that the coolest?!  Before all things, before all thought, before all of us, before all, well, all, God. 

I have to say, when I read that first sentence, something in me just sang.  And, very honestly, cried out.  Cried out to the One who is our Creator.  The Author and Perfector of our souls.  The One who sees and hears.

In the midst of a week of feeling homesick, of news of hurricanes and flooding (in the U.S. and in parts of Guatemala), of being tired out by trying to absorb more verb tenses (three this week alone!), it refocused my attention where it belongs.  On God.  On God the Creator, the One who initiates all things worth initiating. 

God is God.  He is incomparable, because He existed before there was anything to compare Him to.  He is impossible to define because He is not limited by time and space and our ability to use thoughts or words.  God is God. 

And, I get to serve Him.  The hugeness of this truth overwhelms me.  I don’t know why He has chosen me.  But He has.  Oh, friends, He has chosen me… and He has chosen you.  You are precious to Him.  He created you, and He sees you and hears you, and invites you into fellowship with Him.  I pray you are overwhelmed at this truth – and that your heart sings out, too!

God is God.  At the end of all things, God will be God.  And, we will be with Him.  Yes, things here on this broken, finite, limited earth still get me down.  Yes, I struggle.  But, gracias a Dios, He is gracious!  He knew the condition of my heart this week, and gave me a simple and profound gift. 

Dios, en el principio, creo los cielos y la tierra.  God, in the beginning, created the heavens and the earth.  And nothing in those heavens or on earth can separate us from Him.  Dios, en el principio… Dios.

Digno eres, Señor y Dios nuestro,
de recibir la gloria, la honra y el poder,
porque tú creaste todas las cosas;
por tu voluntad existen
y fueron creadas.  (Apocalipsis 4:11)

You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being.  (Revelation 4:11)