Part I

So, I’ve been sitting here trying to write out the adventure of getting the legal part of our marriage completed.  Getting my documents translated into Spanish, Carlos getting a ‘recent’ Birth Certificate, worrying about the local attorney, etc., etc.   But, you don’t want to read all of that.  Let’s just say, it was a tad bit complicated. 

In the end, what matters is that, with our wonderful friends and mentors, Kenny and Karen, as our witnesses, last week we became legally married!!  

hearing the attorney read the Acta
(notice the tight quarters!)

We’re now planning Part II, a small, simple celebration, which we’ve set for May 11.  From the beginning, we’ve wanted this to be a time focused on God, and on worshiping Him.  We want to give Him all the honor and glory, and to make our vows in front of Him, and in front of a small group of our friends here.  

see my beautiful ring? 
Carlos even got down
on his knee to propose!

I’m thankful for the way God has provided a family for us here.  Of course, I’m sad that my family (including my ‘faith family’!) back home won’t be able to be here to celebrate with us!

signing the marriage books



Carlos' turn!

After that, we’ll move in together and begin our life as husband and wife.  Are we excited?  Oh, yes!!

The verse we've chosen as the theme for our marriage is John 15:12, where Jesus says, "This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you".  That is our desire.  That our love for each other will reflect the sacrificial love Jesus has for each one of us.  Love that emptied itself and went to the cross.  

our amazing friend Karen

Please join us in praying that as we begin our life together, we will stay focused on that goal.   That living for God will be our only joy and desire.  That we will reflect His love through our marriage, and point others to Him through our lives.  That we will help each other grow more and more like Jesus each day.  

and her awesome husband, Kenny

We both know we’ll stumble and fall at times, but we also know our loving Father will be with us to lift us up again.  To Him be all the glory!

Just married!!

with our inspiring, encouraging brother and sister in Christ.
(if you look to the right you can see the little space where the ceremony took place - behind the bars!)

to God alone be the glory!

True...But

On Sunday morning I was reading in my Chronological Bible.  I’m at the point where David has been fleeing from King Saul, and the editors have incorporated some of the Psalms into the narrative portions.  I always love this part.  The Psalms take on new meaning in their context.  Imagine David holed up in a cave, fleeing from Saul, lifting up to Jehovah his fears and worries, and ultimately his hope and confidence in Him (Psalms 57 and 142).

Yesterday I read Psalm 78, which is a psalm of Asaph, describing part of the history of the Israelites, including their failure to trust in God in the desert.   A couple of the verses really hit hard:

“They [the Israelites] spoke against God;
they said, “Can God really
spread a table in the wilderness?
True, he struck the rock,
and water gushed out,
streams flowed abundantly,
but can he also give us bread?
Can he supply meat for his people?”

(Psalm 78:19-20)

The Israelites had witnessed a miracle in the desert, water from solid rock.  But, they continued to grumble, questioning whether or not God could continue to meet their needs. 

The next verses are understandable but not comfortable.  God gets angry.  Furious.  The Israelites did not trust in Him to provide and God shows His displeasure with them in powerful ways.

Do I, too, make God angry with my constant whining?  How many times has He provided a miracle in my life?  How many times has water gushed out of a rock, allowing me to drink deeply?  I thought my thirst was going to be the death of me, and then, water, cool and sweet, poured out of solid rock.  I praised God for His goodness and provision.

But time passes.  A new fear or challenge comes along.  I get to thinking that it’s been a while since I’ve seen something amazing happen.  The water is long gone and now my tummy has started to rumble.  I get hungry.  So hungry. 

Like the Israelites, I start to wonder, Can God really give me bread?  And, some meat would be pretty great, too.  But, I’m not sure… it’s been a while, and this is much more than a bit of thirst.  Can God really spread a table?  After all, the wilderness I’m in is vast.

Asaph goes on verse after verse describing how God was faithful to provide, but Israel kept on sinning.  That God showed His righteous anger at their disbelief, but how they still sinned.  I’ve never seen literal water gush from a literal rock, but I cannot deny the blessings of God in my life.  There have been miracles, abundant miracles.    

The psalm ends with the hope that came with the new king, King David.  As we know, David would mess up, and big time.  He was also a man after God’s own heart.  And, from him would come a King who would never fail.  A King who would be tempted in every way we have been, but would not sin. 

I’m so thankful for God’s love and mercy.  That when I turn from my sin and confess my failure to trust Him, He is faithful to forgive.  But, I’m tired of needing to ask for that forgiveness.  I’m tired of my whining.  I’m tired of saying, True, You have done amazing things, but can You also do this? 

Forgive me, Father, for being like the Israelites.  Forgive me for acting as if You have reached Your miracle-limit.  Forgive me for how quickly I begin to doubt and whine.  Thank you for Your love and forgiveness.  Thank you for Your Word, which pierces my heart and draws me to You. 

True, You have caused water to gush from the rock, and Yes, You are really able to spread a table in the wilderness.  You invite me to that table, to join in a banquet with You.  May I sit and eat and remember Your goodness.  Today, and tomorrow and forever.

Details

Good morning, everyone!  Thank you so much for your comments, questions - and encouragement.  I just wanted to share a few details:

Wedding Date:  We still have not set a date.  I just wanted to give everyone a 'heads up' that it's on the way. 

Living:  We'll stay here living in Jarabacoa, likely in my little studio apartment to start.  Doña Gloria (my landlady) loves Carlos and is happy that there will be a man in the house.

Ministry:  I will continue my ministry with Students International, moving into Human Resources full-time in May.  I've started working on policies and procedures, and am excited to help strengthen our wonderful staff in this way.

Time:  How long will we stay in the DR?  At this point, we don't know what the future may hold.  We are committed to seeking God's direction in how He wants us to serve Him.  For now, that means staying here. 

When I left the US, I felt at peace knowing perhaps God would call me to spend the rest of my life living in the DR.  I still feel that way.  But, I also am learning that God always does the unexpected! 

I do firmly believe I need to be faithful to His current call on my life, and that when/if it is time to move, He will make clear the when/where/how.  Wherever and whenever it may be, we know that it'll be far more than we ask or even imagine. 

There are still unknowns, of course, and we know we need to cover each step of the way in prayer.  God is at work, and we never want to get ahead of Him.  We want to seek God's kindgom and His righteous first of all, confident that when this is our goal, all the rest that we need will be added as He wills it.

Thanks again, friends!  The God we serve is amazing, isn't He?

My Next Adventure

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ve noticed the name Carlos creeping in more and more often...     

About a year ago, I was in the gym, bright and early, doing some stretching before tackling one of the leg machines.  There was a guy working out nearby.  Of course, my gym here is very small, where you can literally ‘reach out and touch’ the person on the machine next to you, so everyone is kind of nearby!

This guy commented on how flexible I was, and we started talking about working out.  We also talked about how we enjoyed the beauty of the area, and hiking.  He told me his name was Carlos and that he had recently moved from Santo Domingo.

He asked why I was here in Jarabacoa, and when I told him I was a missionary he got really excited and started talking about how he wanted to serve God.  “For me, the cross of Christ is the most important.” 

We saw each other again, a week or so later, and this time we talked about relationships.  Carlos told me that he wanted to be remarried, (we’re both divorced) but it had to be someone who loved Jesus even more than she loved him, and who wanted to serve God with her life. 

He told me he had been praying for a woman like that, who also enjoyed his love of exercise and being outside, especially hiking in the mountains.

True confession: instead of being happy to have met a guy who loved Jesus and wanted to serve Him, I was skeptical.  After all, what better way to impress a missionary than to talk about God? 

And, the truth was, I wasn’t actually looking for a relationship.  As I had declared forcefully (and often!) I had left the US single, and had every intention of returning the same way.      

I’m so thankful that God is at work, even when we’re being closed-minded and prejudiced!     
I’m also thankful that sometimes God opens doors we have firmly shut.  I truly was content and at peace being single.  It took a long, long time to heal my heart after my failed marriage and divorce. 

Forgiving myself, having the courage to trust that I would not repeat the mistakes of the past, allowing myself to be open to the investment of time, energy and emotion that a healthy relationship requires… all of this took time.  And, a lot of it! 

Hiking last year... still one of our favorite things!

But, all the while, God was at work.  In my life, and in the life of Carlos, too.  Not only that, I discovered friends and family had been praying for me what I would not (or perhaps could not) pray for myself. 

"I remember a conversation where you made it quite clear that you had no interest in marriage.  Case closed!  Let's get on with other things.  But if you expressed no interest in marriage, I continued in my prayer asking God to bring the right person into your life." 

My sweet dad emailed me these words last year when I told him about Carlos.  I was surprised, and so very touched to learn of his prayers - and many others, as well!

As much as I have loved serving God as a single woman, I now see ways that I can serve Him more deeply with a partner in life and ministry.  With someone who believes the cross of Christ is the most important thing.  With someone who has a hunger and passion for knowing Jesus that inspires me to know Him better, too.  With someone who wants me to love God even more than I love him.        

I can honestly say that what Carlos said a year ago standing in the gym was not just words to impress a missionary.  Instead, he has shown me in more ways than I can count, that his desire truly is desire to spend his life loving and serving God – and to be with someone who desires this, too. 

Of course, we both know that there will be challenges in the future.  There have been plenty already!  But, we stand back in awe at how God has brought us together. 

Carlos and I have spent a lot of time in prayer both alone and together, time seeking wise counsel, time reading the Word, and books on marriage.  We have shared our dreams for seeing God glorified in the lives of those who do not yet know Him.  We have been blessed to serve together teaching English, and some with Students International.  All of this has helped confirm that God truly has led us to this point. 

And, so…Big breath. 

And so...we are prayerfully planning to marry.  Soon. 

I know, I know, crazy, right?!  But, we feel at peace (and excited!) to begin this new adventure together.  We cannot wait to see what He will do in us and through us next!

For all of you who’ve been praying… Thank you!  Please continue to pray that God would be glorified through our lives as individuals, and together.  And, please feel free to say, “I told you so” as often as you’d like!

Bird-Brained

Our Site has a translucent panel in the roof to let in light.  On more than one occasion, we’ve had birds fly in through our open doors or windows.  Once they are in, it’s hard to get them out.  They tend to hang out up in the rafters, making futile attempts to exit through the light-filled panel above. 

It’s heart-breaking and frustrating to watch.  A bird will fly in big circles for a couple minutes, then perch on one of the wooden rafters for a while to rest.  Then, it starts again.  Every so often it’ll get a little lower, and we get excited, thinking maybe it will discover the wide open door below.  But, up it goes again, missing the opportunity to be free. 

Some of them eventually find their way out by accident.  Others have to be chased out, which is stressful for them, and for us, too. 

Yesterday Daisy and I were talking with our Young Women’s group about the Resurrection of Jesus.  We do not serve a dead god, but a living, eternal Savior.  Because He lives, we, too, live.  We read Matthew 28, when Mary Magdalene and the other Mary go early in the morning to the tomb seeking Jesus’ body.  But, as the angel told them, He was not there, because He was alive!

As we were talking, another bird flew in.  I watched it swooping around, tiring itself out pursuing an exit that was never going to open.  The bird wanted to get out, so he kept aiming for the sky through that translucent part of our roof. 

In that little bird’s brain, it made perfect sense.  The sad fact was, of course, it could spend its entire life flying around the rafters, even bumping up against the panel, but it was never going to get out that way.

The bird needed to do what was counter-intuitive.  It needed to fly down in order to go up and out.  I imagined it had little birdy friends outside who kept calling it to fly up.  Come on, you can do it!      

The truth is, sometimes – perhaps, many times! – God is leading us in a way that seems to make no sense.  Logically, one direction is less risky, more comfortable and safe.  Clearly, that’s the way He would want me to go.  Of course, I need to remember that compared to God, my logic can be bird-brained! 

Because of the cross and the empty tomb, we have freedom in Christ.  We can live a life that is significant and abundant.  But, like the cross itself, this signifies living in a way that is counter-intuitive to the world.  After all, the way to this freedom, this life, cost Jesus exactly that – His own freedom and life. 

As His followers, we are called to give up our freedom and life in order to gain them.  We are called to a life that may defy logic.  A life that makes no sense to our little bird brains.  A life that may confuse or alienate those we love.  It’s not always going to be easy! But, if I don’t follow His leading, I will spend all my life swooping around, tiring myself out, all for nothing.

When Jesus ascended, His Father sent a Helper, the Holy Spirit, to live in us.  The Holy Spirit is often depicted as a dove.  That is the kind of ‘bird brain’ I want to have!  When the path seems obscure, when voices all around me are urging me to keep flying into the panel, it is only in His power that I can stop, focus on His call, and then fly down, not up. 

I pray that I will have the courage to heed the voice of the Holy Spirit, leaving my bird brained ways behind so that I can share His Good News with a world that continues flying around without hope.  Only in His power can we live in true freedom.  All glory to Him!!