No More Glitter!

I just noticed a bit of glitter on the top of my bare foot. 

We use glitter at the Social Work site, and I always bring lots of it home – on my clothes, book bag, arms, even my face.  I don’t, however, walk around barefoot at the site, and we haven’t used glitter in over a month. 

Oh, and I’ve taken more than a few showers, and been in the ocean and a river since then.  So, how did it get onto my foot? 

Every time we use glitter, it’s the same.  It goes everywhere, and lingers for ages.  One of our outreach students posted on my Facebook wall that she’d found glitter on one of her dresses last week. 

The thing is, she was at our site at the end of July… and she hadn’t even taken that particular dress to the D.R.!  But, somehow, a bit of the stuff transferred onto it.

Every time we use glitter, I say Never Again, and yet, I keep pulling it out.  Somehow I convince myself that this time it won’t be so bad, and it won’t get everywhere.  But, it always is, and it always does.

Glitter makes me think about sin. 

I know, I know, but go with me on this. 

I don’t know about you, but I have a few (okay, more than a few!) things in my life which continually tempt me to sin.  Situations, thoughts, even certain people, seem to trigger me to respond in a sin-filled way. 

I keep promising I’m never going to do such-and-such, or allow myself to say this-or-that, again.  But, then I think the same unloving thoughts, say the same grace-less things. 

Afterwards, I always regret it and try to clean up from the immediate mess of my sin.  I feel bad, apologize, confess, vow not to do it again.  For a while all seems pretty okay, and it’s easy to turn my attention to other things. 

The thing about sin is, when I allow it to enter my life, I’m not just impacting myself.  Like the student’s dress, my sin can transfer in unexpected ways to unexpected places.  Hurtful words or a merciless attitude can cause lingering damage to a brother or sister in Christ. 

Maybe I don’t even notice the pain I’ve caused, but it is there, straining or even breaking relationships.    

And, of course, my sin impacts my relationship with God our Father.  All sin is rebellion against Him.  Sinning in one area of my life transfers into other areas.  Like the glitter, I’m not always aware it’s happening until one day it sits winking at me unmistakably.   

Today is my birthday.  Maybe this seems like a pretty depressing post for the day of my birth.  Yeah, sin isn’t a very happy topic. 

But, only when I really understand how icky I am, am I ready to move ahead into the next day, the next year.  The more I see myself as I truly am, the more humbled I am at God’s love for us in Christ Jesus.    

So, I start another year, confident, not in my strength, but in the assurance that God is going to continue to work in me.  At times, it’s probably going to take some more serious pruning – and even a refiner’s fire or two!  But, like those pesky bits of glitter, clinging sin requires extreme measures (although I don’t suggest our student burns her dress!). 

I have the assurance that in the hands of our loving Father, just the right amount of cutting and burning will take place.  And that, in His power, I can become more like His Son. 

And… once again, I’m saying No More Glitter!  Maybe this year, I’ll even mean it!

Walking on Hands

This week I headed back to El Callejon.  After a week of vacation, and then a week of staff training, it’s been great to be back.  I’m alone right now, as Daisy is in Miami for a conference with her church.  I’m thankful she was able to go, because I’m sure it will be a great time of fellowship and learning. 

And… I’m super excited, because she plans to go to a Michael’s store!  For those of you who don’t know, Michael’s is a giant craft supply store.  Like Lowe’s or Home Depot, it’s filled with row upon row of stuff to make other stuff.  Of course, instead of drawer handles and light fixtures, Michael’s has scrapbook supplies, beads, and embroidery thread. 

We had one in Harrisonburg, and I’d venture in occasionally.  To be honest, it kind of overwhelmed me as lots of the rows had things I didn’t recognize – and even if I did, I had no clue how to use them!  

When women and teens come on outreaches, they often bring things they bought at Michael’s.  When Daisy sees one of those bags, and listens as participants describe all the stuff you can find there, her face lights up and she gets this dreamy expression.

One day we went onto the Michael’s website.  Sitting upstairs at the SI Base, looking at the variety of stuff available, it was as if the clouds parted and a single beam of sunlight shot down, illuminating my laptop.  If I had listened closely, I probably could have heard the “Ahhh” sound of heavenly creatures!

For me, it’s just a store, and not one I’d go out of my way to visit unless I had a very specific need.  For Daisy... “Ahhh!”  Of course, I’ve got my own “Ahhh” places that she’d likely not enjoy!

Carlos and I were talking one day about how each of us has different gifts with which to serve Jesus.  He reminded me that we walk on our feet and use our hands to eat.  That is to say, our body parts are designed with specific purposes, and the whole functions best when we use them in the way God intended.  Sure, it’s fun to try and walk on our hands, but it’s not the best way to get around. 

In the same way, the Body of Christ is filled with variety.  The Holy Spirit has given each of us gifts, all different, but all equally essential.  When a part of the human body doesn’t function well, other parts can compensate, but that’s not ideal.  It’s the same thing with the Body of Christ. 

I think it is easy to fall into the temptation of trying to do everything.  The ‘feet’ aren’t doing their part… well, here, I’ll just walk on my hands for them.  Or, of suffering from “Spiritual gifts envy” and insisting on serving in a way we’re not designed.  Anyone who has watched one of those reality show auditions has seen people who are ‘eating with their feet’! 

In the Body of Christ, however, it’s more than just singing off-key.  If I am neglecting my own Spiritual gifts, or, trying to carry another’s, either because they are not, or I like their gift better, I am in danger of harming the whole. 

In fact, I may be robbing someone of their “Ahhh”, of their joy in finding the place where their “deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet” (Frederick Buechner).    

So, today, I’m rejoicing at the thought of Daisy dancing in the aisles of Michael’s.  And, I’m praying God continues to give me clarity and courage to live out His call through the Spiritual gifts He has so generously given me. 

Feet, be feet.  Hands, be hands.  And, be confident that where we are using our gifts, our God will supply all our need according to His great riches in Jesus Christ.  In that place, there is true vocation, true calling, true joy.

Two-to-One

Last week I started helping my friend Carlos teach an English class in a small, poor community.  They desire to learn because knowing English will open up opportunities – both here in the DR, as well as possibly in the US.

The road to get to the community has been under construction for months.  When most of the labor is manual, things take a lot longer.  Piles of rocks block parts of the road, and gravel is moved around, leaving dirt that quickly turns to mud when it rains.  Even with my snow tires, it makes for an interesting drive!

The class meets for one hour, two nights a week, in a small, one-room building which currently houses the community’s church. 

Because photocopying is expensive, each family shares a copy of the textbooks, which are themselves recycled schoolbooks.  Just getting the copies required someone going to Jarabacoa.  By moto this takes more than 25 minutes each way (and remember the condition of the road!), and gas here is over $6.00/gallon. 

Our students range in ages from around 10 to more than 50.  They squish into the small space, sitting on old plastic chairs, each with their notebook and pencil ready.  They collected money to buy chalk and a blackboard for us to use.  We started last week with around 15, but yesterday there were more than 20. 

Instead of listening to a tape recorder, they get to hear a real, live, Americana (that’d be me!).  Since English has sounds that don’t exist in Spanish (like the ‘short-i’ sound in ‘it is’) it can be a challenge (and pretty funny!) to pronounce words right.  They all have a great sense of humor about it.  Carlos is a great teacher, and the hour just flies by.

Last night I gave a few of the girls a ride home.  I told one of them to tap me on the arm when I needed to stop.  I started driving.  And driving.  And driving some more.  I got an arm tap.  Here?  Yes, I can get out here.  But, is this where you live?  No, it’s a bit further down this other road. 

I turned and we drove some more.  Up hills and down, at least as far as we’d already come.  The sun was beginning to set, the rain threatening again, the girls only in their teens.  When I finally got another arm tap, we were another mile away.

These young women are willing to walk almost an hour - each way (again, remember the road!) for one hour of English.  Sure, they might be able to catch a moto ride for part of the trip, but they typically start out not sure if one will come past or not. Nearly two hours of walking for one hour of class.    

The truth is, I may be helping teach English, but these girls are teaching me, too.  You see, I have something these people cherish, something they are willing to spend hours pursuing.  Through no skill, no hard work, no sacrifice of my own, I speak English.  I read it, I write it, I pray in it, I dream in it. 

As I dropped of the girls, one by one, I started to think (in English!) of the things I say I value.  What am I willing to give for a deeper relationship with Christ?  For a fuller understanding of those I am here to serve? 

How often do I measure out my cost, deciding that 2-to-1 is simply not a good investment?  Oh, to be one who ignores the muddy road, long miles, dark clouds, because what is before me is so valuable, so precious!

Oh, Father, I am humbled.  Again.  I say I want to seek You, and yet I complain when it gets hard.  Thank you for the lesson of these precious teens. 

Teach me, again, Jesus, to press ahead, persevering in spite of obstacles, frustration and pain. 

Holy Spirit, strengthen us to continue to pour into these students, even if it stops being fun and rewarding. 

Thank you for the privilege of serving.  May it be to Your glory alone!    

The End of Summer

Hi, everyone!  It’s been a while since I’ve last posted, I know.  Just to assure you that I’m doing well…. and, I’m on vacation!!  We ended our busy summer last Friday, and now have a week off, ending with a weekend trip to the beach.  Our staff is heading out for a few days of relaxing and just hanging out together. 

I’ve yet to go to the beach here, so I’m looking forward to it!  I’m rooming with my friend Rachel (our newest SI missionary, and an awesome sister in Christ!), so that’s an added bonus!  Oh, and the bathing suit I ordered online came in, and actually fits.  Yep, another bonus!!

I was talking with my Spiritual Director today, and as I talked, I realized it’s no wonder I’m feeling tired.  Attempting to balance the needs of American students as well as the people of El Callejon, having to translate from English to Spanish and then back again, all while striving to stay connected to Jesus, working out regularly, plus have a personal life… yeah, it’s been a full summer.    

But, it’s been a good summer, too.  It’s been good because I’ve watched young women (girls, really, as young as just 14!) interacting with people from a completely different culture and way of life.  They’ve struggled with the poverty, but they’ve also opened their minds and hearts to seeing God’s love in the midst of it. 

Each team was different, and I’d be lying if I said they were all easy.  But, even this was good.  Of course, it took some time, some distance, and a whole lot of prayer to be able to say that!  It was good because I learned a lot more about myself, my reactions, my prejudices, through the more challenging personalities.

God has been stretching me, inviting me to face my own areas of weakness.  The areas where I’ve been prideful and judgmental are the very places He has been exposing.  And, can I confess how decidedly unpleasant it has often been?! 

More times than I like to admit, the Holy Spirit has convicted me of the need to confront a sin or temptation in my life.  The sad truth is, just having ‘missionary’ in your job title doesn’t make all that muck and mess instantly disappear! 

Because talking about Jesus is my job, I have found myself having difficulty just spending time with Him alone.  After all, when we get home from work, the last thing we typically want to do is more stuff related to work. 

Of course, since Jesus is the only Source of my strength and ability to do my job, withdrawing from Him only increases the exhaustion.  I’m so thankful for my small group, friends back home, and friends here, who have continued to point me back to Jesus and His life-giving, life-sustaining power and love!

My prayer is that as I continue to process and ponder the summer, I will be open to God’s refining, so I can become more like Jesus as the dross in me continues to be burned away.  I’m not there yet, I’m not even close.  But, I know the One who is with me will not fail me or forsake me, no matter how many times I stumble and fall down. 

In Him, even my failures can be transformed and redeemed into beauty.  I’ve heard it over and over again in the testimonies of the students.  I’ve seen it over and over again in the lives of those in El Callejon, in my own life. 

What an amazing God we serve!  I’m so thankful He has guided me this summer.  I can’t wait to see how He continues His work in all of our lives.  May you, too, allow Him to work in you and through you, as your Summer end and turns into Fall.